Living With Love, Chaos and Haley

In this article, a family shares their experiences in dealing with their daughter who suffers from debilitating mental illnesses. Haley Abaspour suffers from hallucinations both visual and auditory. Her parents try to deal day by day deciding which schools are best, how to afford her treatment, and how to tell family and friends about these problems. To an outsider on one of Haley's good days, they might think she was a normal child, possibly a little bit distracted but normal. After the exhaustion of trying to hold herself together in school though, Haley comes home to her family and collapses into fits. Doctors say that the families in these situations tend to get the worst part of these fits because their children feel safe enough around them to let their emotions show.

A few years ago I tutored a 9 year old girl who suffered from severe autism. She was unable to communicate and frequently went into similar fits of frustration. I only worked with her for a few hours at a time but would always leave feeling exhausted by the efforts. Despite the fact that simple things such as movies and music could keep her quiet and entertained, her family wanted her to be learning and developing instead of wasting away in front of a television despite this being the easier option. The family paid me out of pocket but if they were not as financially stable, I can't imagine what type of life the child might have had. I find that the mother in that situation seemed to share the same qualities of overwhelming patience and understanding that Mrs. Abaspour portrayed in her responses to some of the interviewer's questions. The little girl I worked with also had a twin brother who was perfectly healthy. After reading the reactions of Haley's sister, I wonder how that brother has dealt with his sister's problems in the time since I worked with her.

This article as well as the experience I had tutoring makes me wish there was a better system of care for children with these types of disabilities. I know that these issues are difficult without better funding.. But even if parents could attend workshops or seminars where other parents can offer advice on which schools are best and how to alleviate the pressures these issues can put on a family's structure. I don't think that these parents should have to be in debt for trying to give their children a better life. Children with these problems can't just be put into a class. Their specific needs must be assessed and dealt with individually because they can't adjust the same way healthy children can. It is unfair to put these children in an environment where they are essentially being set up for failure without the attention they require. In my experience, the girl I worked with had transferred from 3 different schools and was still having problems and the only reason she was able to try other schools was because her family had the resources to fund it. In a low income household, chances are that the child would stay in the unhealthy environment which would be even more detrimental to their mental state.